Looking at life

Its not easy being challenged. Often inside the challenge we really have to look and see who we are in them matter? And sometimes in those moments we find out that we aren't much or that we are so much that we have a hard time taking it all in. I want to complicate my situation in life and is exactly what it is. A sitution. A circle of what happened. The freedom is in choosing what story I will make up. I get to make it however I want, even the the circle of what happened is crummy. I have learned that the being challenged often means running, even when we say we wont. I am watching an important person in my life do that now and i've seen it before. In the face of challenge that person chooces subordinate. They choose ordinary, they choose the more better different version. The life of the status quo. <---thats a great word!
I have learned that even when we know, there is still 70% of pie that we don't know. The blind spots. I keep being brought back to the basics. I am more aware of the work of transformation. Despite the pain, the confusion is all inauthentic. I totally get it and pretending I don't get it is a lie.
I don't want to be patronized...felt sorry for...or told how everything in my life will work out.

I'm looking forward to going to Chicago this weekend...its gonna be cold! And i'm committed to having a breakthrough in the new situation that life has presented to me.

"I think i'll watch My Best Friends Wedding tonight," some really great quotes.
"Do what you came for, tell him you love him, give him a hug and let him go."