Being

WOW!!! It's been a long time since I posted....
Another crazy day in front of me, work then school, then home to do more homework. I have 2 major projects that have to be completed tonight, when i'm complete I will write more about my life in the past two weeks. About my trip to LA and my weekend that just passed.
Mainly I wanted to write today to get something out of my space.
Jason didn't come home last night. Well really not on Saturday night either. And i'm all confused about it. I flip back and forth...between being okay and feeling really really empty about it. I remind myself that I have stayed out too. But mainly because my friends live so far away. My sleepovers are to save myself some sleep or make the most of my time. I suppose I have more greiving to do. Perhaps a final stage of the game called "letting Jason go..." and that makes me sad. So I have been trained to just be with. Let my emotions wash over me, thank them for visiting, feel them and move on. Resisting them would be useless.
So I have been stopped in some areas of my new relationship and perhaps its because I still have something to let go of... I will be with that today and maybe that will make all the difference.