love is in the air?

I don't feel any love today and i'm clear that I am generating that lack of power.
I did not get enough sleep last night and today I am living inside of frustration and sadness.
I pretend....basically thats it, no one in my life really knows who I am...i'm just a big baby...
Really i know this way of being is not me and i keep catching myself, and i'm so tired.
I want the day to be over and its only 12:38.
I laid in my bad and watched the music bars on my cd player dance. Up and down, up and down or maybe down and up. I watched the clock. I waited to hear the door. I drowned out their voices with my music and the more present I got to what was occuring the more confused and sad I became.
I want to quit...
I want to be straight.
I really want a hug, to just sit with someone and cry, until its empty. Tears are filling my eyes now.
I got all sorts of goodies today at work from the kiddos and my co-workers for valentines, I was an observer of the festivities, I chose not to participate.
I want to be with someone safe and keep talking it out. I'm done hiding but i'm not sure how to create more safe people in my life.
*thanks for the text message katie*
**thanks to my cat**
***thanks to madisons unconditional love***
****thanks Jenni for making my vision alive and real****
*****thanks for the possibility of having a day full of love*****