Very Tired

I'm really really tired, however behind my sleepy eyes I am very much alive! I have had one of the biggest breakthroughs of my life. And I thought I'd be jumping out of my skin and turning summersaults but somehow i'm peaceful, content and really powerful inside. The access to breakthroughs is tiring. I was able to split apart of my story and what actually happened. People in my life never fully get me, they get me and my fear of losing them. Abandonment is really an issue for me and its not like in 2 months someone may leave my life. For me its like one day they are gone and the next day they vanish, literally and thats terrifying. So I hind behind "everything is okay" and"nothing is bothering me" I haven't given people in my life to truely be intimate with me. I avoid people in my life so they won't really know whats going on, so I can limit their perception of me. I have created the possibility of being safe and being a champion.
I started this post yesterday afternoon at 3pm. Its saturday morning at 8:30am. I slept so much last night and rested peacefully. Perhaps I got through one night dream conscience free. Just pure, uninterupted rest. Thats a victory. Katie told me to rest and wake up joyful and generous! Sometimes I forget that I am in charge of my days. "No day but today," just played on in the song as I typed that, interesting.
Thank you Jason and Joe for building a webpage for Just Imagine. It looks really great!