Vibes

Pick me, my cat is in a sassy mood today. She gives me the impression she wants to be left alone. Why is it that we can pick up on the leave me alone vibe so easily but its much more difficult to pick up on the I really need you to love me vibe. Perhaps the leave me alone and I really need love vibe are one in the same. I know most of the time when I put off the leave me alone vibe I really want someone to love me, i'm just scared to risk being vulnerable. Really, sometimes its easy to be difficult and nasty then it is to be vulnerable. I'm so happy it is Friday, girl scouts for an hour this evening and then its free sailing for 2 whole days. Dinner and a movie with Jason this evening, laundry/cleanup/homework tomorrow and visit Jodi on sunday. Man the events of my life have really changed course. And its nothing like I thought it would be. I'm still unsatisfied and still jealous of what everyone else has, well not everyone, just jealous of the people who have what I think I want or need.