Up too Early

3 people called me Katie last night for 3 different reasons. Well two directly called me Katie and the other one meant to announce "Kaites group," and announced "Kelly's group," instead. The accouncement made sense since I was the only person who heard Peter say we were meeting with him and the only person sitting in a chair waiting. I thought I knew what that meant, but now I am bewildered. Perhaps it is just a "K" thing.
I felt a huge disconnection last night, like I had let people down. Like I had let myself down. I was let down so I wouldn't let anyone in. I sat in a huge room. A familiar room, a room I usually feel comofortable in and I felt out of place. I reverted back to a couple of weeks ago when I was akward. I didn't share. I had planned on sharing. Without Jason there I lost my energy. I felt like anything I would say would be empty and insignificant. I was like a kid anticipating Disney World all weekend. On top of the world because he was coming. It was the first time ever, Disney was closed for the day when he told me hasn't. What made it worse, is not only did he let me down, but he did it intentionally. And then to top it off he spent his evening with Stupid Andrea. I really wish she would go away. He told me our entire relationship has been inauthentic and that he doesn't really care if I'm happy.
Going out with her last night Jason was a really ugly thing to do.
Thanks Simmi for being so wonderful for me.
Again, Katie, thanks for all the text messages :)
Jenni, Thanks for coming last night