How it occured to me
I completed the ILP application.
I'm playing with my new laptop.
Thats whats keeping the tears from flowing this evening.
I got a text message. Gone for an entire weekend with another girl and I get a text message. I guess I should be greatful for that, but I was hoping for a conversation. I remember all the trips we went on. The dozens of trips to orlando, one to atlanta, the caribbean cruise ( that was the best! ) Gainesville was one of my favorite trips. We have gone to Tampa, St. Pete and Kennedy Space Center. A drive to Miami, New york City (killer time!) and Pennslyvania. 2 trips to west virginia and one to Jamacia. We were planning Vegas...I'd love another cruise. Every monday was port st. lucie, every tuesday sample road. He would play Ultimate I would go to Walmart. Every wednesday he would come home around 10pm and tell me about ultimate. Sunday mornings was the beach. Thursday were not consistant. Saturday morning I would anxiously wait till 10am and go in his room to wake him up. Just be with him. I never really thought there would be a weekend trip I wouldnt be with him. I never imagined I wouldnt being going to walmart twice a week. It occured to me that we would be together and traveling would be one of our greatest connections. However, now he is traveling with another girl. That is how it occurs to me, he is with another girl, taking away from connection. My heart is broken.
Friend number 3 I have split from because I believed in our relationship so much. I thought he would come around eventually. We bought the house, did our traveling, began transformational work and I thought the next exciting moment would be our wedding. What a fool I was!
I want to be lazy with my intentions, but i'm so much bigger then that. I wish I had my friend back, sitting here with me in this cozy house enjoying this movie with me now.
I'm still sick....not that it suprizes me.
I want to be angry, so easy to be sad and angry.
I'm playing with my new laptop.
Thats whats keeping the tears from flowing this evening.
I got a text message. Gone for an entire weekend with another girl and I get a text message. I guess I should be greatful for that, but I was hoping for a conversation. I remember all the trips we went on. The dozens of trips to orlando, one to atlanta, the caribbean cruise ( that was the best! ) Gainesville was one of my favorite trips. We have gone to Tampa, St. Pete and Kennedy Space Center. A drive to Miami, New york City (killer time!) and Pennslyvania. 2 trips to west virginia and one to Jamacia. We were planning Vegas...I'd love another cruise. Every monday was port st. lucie, every tuesday sample road. He would play Ultimate I would go to Walmart. Every wednesday he would come home around 10pm and tell me about ultimate. Sunday mornings was the beach. Thursday were not consistant. Saturday morning I would anxiously wait till 10am and go in his room to wake him up. Just be with him. I never really thought there would be a weekend trip I wouldnt be with him. I never imagined I wouldnt being going to walmart twice a week. It occured to me that we would be together and traveling would be one of our greatest connections. However, now he is traveling with another girl. That is how it occurs to me, he is with another girl, taking away from connection. My heart is broken.
Friend number 3 I have split from because I believed in our relationship so much. I thought he would come around eventually. We bought the house, did our traveling, began transformational work and I thought the next exciting moment would be our wedding. What a fool I was!
I want to be lazy with my intentions, but i'm so much bigger then that. I wish I had my friend back, sitting here with me in this cozy house enjoying this movie with me now.
I'm still sick....not that it suprizes me.
I want to be angry, so easy to be sad and angry.
posted by Moxie Mommy @ Saturday, February 18, 2006
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