Who I am is the possibility....

Thursday, April 20, 2006

All the way through share (in progress)

What is working in my finances is I have a significant amount of money in savings and I have a consistant income.
What is not working in my finances is I pay my bills late and pay no attention is how much money I spend or have at any given time.

I said an area i'm working on that dooesn't work or doesn't work as well as I would like it to is my fiances. I have consistant, reliable income however I am irresponsible with my spending and pay my bills late.

Here is my probable almost certain future:
What I have already been doing is...
I get a bill in the mail and I set it on my desk for a couple of days with intention of paying all my bills at once.
After several days once all the bills come in I put them in my purse with the intention of writing the checks out while i'm at work
A couple days later I take the bills out of my purse and write the checks, then put them back in my purse because they will need stamps.
A few more days pass and I finally get stamps, however by this point the bills are late.
The next month the bills come with late fees or turn off dates.
when I get paid I put my paychecks in my purse and hold on to them for several weeks with the intention of depositing them all at once. However, I put off going to the bank and in the mean time I spend money and don't keep track of how much money I spend.
Last minute, when I have no or very little money in my account I rush to the bank to deposit my checks. I freak out and mail the bills and pretend like I didn't send them late.
What is probable is month after month is I will continue to procrastinate, hord my bills and checks in my purse, run low on money and pay my bills late.

What I already have is a pile of late,unpaid bills month after month and an inconsistant amount of money in my checking account.

Who I have already been being about my finances is anxious, worthless and irresponsible.

As I said before in the area of my finances I have been being: anxious,worthless and irresponsbile. What I saw missing the presence of which would make a difference is being courageous, worthy and free. What that makes available to me is a space in my life that is bright, radiant and fun. A free wide open space to live life in the now rather then later.

The possibility I am inventing for myself and my life is the possibility of being courageous, free and worthy.

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